Ropes cut my wrists (but maybe that's my fault)
by jnicweb
Summary: Skye has yearned to be "wanted" her entire life. She just wants someone to pay attention to her. She's tired of being overlooked by everyone in her life.


**This is a fic from Skye's point of view, and how she's a little bitter about her treatment from Shield.**

 **She's OOC, so I'm just going to put that out there so you aren't surprised by some of the things she says.**

Waking up in a weird place with no memory of how I got there is not one of the things I am desperate to do again. For one, it's incredibly disorientating. I have no idea if I'm underground, on an island, on a boat, on an airplane, in a car, or even if I am on earth. Alright, that one's probably a bit extreme; I'm probably not in space. But you never know. It could happen.

But, based on reality, and the facts in front of me, I am probably in a car, judging by the rocking back and forth, the frequent turns that make me roll all over in what I am assuming is the trunk, and the fact that it feels like I'm lying on top of a half-eaten cheeseburger. Which is disgusting and is making me want to puke.

The other reason why I don't like waking up with a sack over my head and my hands and feet bound is the fact that it's horribly embarrassing. I mean, I'm supposed to be able to protect myself, and I'm supposed to be aware of everything around me, and to be caught unawares enough for someone to kidnap me is insulting to my secret-agent-y skills.

I also don't like suffocating in the back of a trunk heading who knows where, captured by people who probably don't want to catch up with a milkshake and burgers. But, if they wanted to kill me, they would have done it by now. Probably.

Ropes binding my hands and feet are also not the most comfortable way to travel in a car. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it's the worst way to travel in a car. Especially in a car that smells like smoke and day old cheeseburger. Actually, I'm not going to think about the burger anymore because I might puke, and then I would be sitting in my own vomit, which would definitely be worse than the burger. Much worse.

Surprisingly, this hasn't happened to me before. I mean, I work for a secret organization that tries it's best to protect people by defeating evil people. We have our fair share of enemies. But none of them have deemed me worthy of kidnapping, until now. It's funny because I was just complaining to Coulson about how no one really views me as a threat until they get into a fight with me. I'm very unassuming. Coulson said I could use that to my advantage, but I'd much rather scare people off with my Ice Queen look like May does, so that I don't even have to do anything but look scary. I'd even rather have Ward's muscles so people think twice before jumping me. But I suppose having the upper hand on an enemy isn't something you want to wish away. I just wish my upper hand was more of well, an upper hand.

I mean it's ridiculous that I've never been targeted before. Even Fitzsimmons has been the receiving end of a terrorist attack. I mean, I would never wish that on anyone, including myself, but I just feel like I am overlooked a lot. No one thinks of me as an asset, or an enemy. Mostly I'm kind of a helper who occasionally does something noteworthy. That might sound incredibly selfish of me, and maybe a bit stupid, because who wants to get kidnapped? But I just want someone to take notice of me, and realize that I am a valuable member of the team, and I want to be treated like I matter. Like I am special, and important enough to get kidnapped because someone doesn't feel comfortable with me around and feel like they have to take me out.

That actually sounds crazy and insane, even to me, but I've spent my whole life being overlooked, and not wanted, so joining Coulson's team, and them letting me stay even though I was more of a loose cannon than an asset, felt good. I felt wanted. But eventually I realized that they didn't really want me because of my skills as a hacker. They just felt bad for me because of my childhood. I mean sure, I didn't have the best one, but at least I always had a roof over my head and food on the table. I wanted to be wanted because they knew I would be valued, and my skills would help them. Not because they pitied me.

And now that I actually had the needed skills of an agent, no one payed any attention to me. I had worked hard to be worthy of being part of the team, and no one appreciated it. Just once, I wanted to be acknowledged for everything I had sacrificed, and everything I had done to be a part of this team, and all the training and hell I've been through to be worthy of their respect. And, as crazy as it sounds, these kidnappers had finally done that for me. They had felt that I was a force to be reckoned with, and felt they would be safer without me in the equation. And it felt good to be needed. Even if it was for all the wrong reasons.

Thinking like this; always wanting to be wanted, is what got me into trouble at orphanages, and at foster homes. I would try to be the perfect little daughter, the one I thought everyone wanted, but no one wants a daughter who asks if it's okay to use toilet paper, or one who asks if it's okay to sit down in a chair for dinner, or one who asks if the living room needs to be dusted. I acted like a maid more than a daughter. I had just wanted to be helpful, and perfect enough that they would never want to get rid of me. But eventually I started to wear on their nerves. I mean, everyone would totally appreciate a free little maid cleaning their house all the time right? But in time it becomes annoying to have someone in your house who is always cleaning, and always tidying up things that don't need to be tidied up. When I misplaced the bills, and my younger sister's homework because I was "cleaning" for the fifth time, I was sent back. It didn't take me long to figure out that no one wanted a goody two shoes who sucked at being a goody two shoes. So I swung the complete opposite way. If people weren't going to appreciate me cleaning up, I would break things. I was as destructive as I could, so eventually no one came to the orphanage to see me. And I was okay with that. Or at least, that's what I told myself.

But it seemed like that part of me has come back. The part that always wants to be accepted. And while it backfired completely when I was little, I was determined to make it work this time. I would work harder, be better, and throw myself into everything so they would realize what a priceless member of the team I was. Then they would regret overlooking me.

 **Let me know what you think!**


End file.
